Sorry for Vanishing a Bit
I’m preparing for a major life transition right now, which means my avoidant tendencies are kicking up again. I am working pretty hard to get done what I need to, instead of just sitting around watching TV on my computer and making lists of cooking ingredients. So I apologize if I go a little stagnant during this time. :(
the-medicated-therapist asked: Hi, I'm a therapist and I've been on meds for almost half my life. I feel that it has helped me to understand some of my clients' concerns and side effects. I started a new blog for questions and to de-stigmatize both medication and psychotherapy. I do not give medical advice but I do give suggestions as to what might be some things to bring up with a doctor. I might help you come up with some alternatives to medications that you can discuss with a prescriber. I'd love if you would promote!
everyone go check out this new blog! It looks great!! and it looks like it may really help some of our followers to have another support blog
"I didn’t need
to fix me.
I needed you to
Michelle K., Fixing Myself. (via siameasy)
This is something I’ve been thinking about for some time based on my experiences with anxiety. These are solely my own thoughts on my experiences.
I think that this is slightly more specific to social anxiety, but I think it still fits the blanket term.
Drawn for my sister
Anxiety vs. Confrontation
I have a lot of difficulty talking to people about things they’ve done that upset me.
I think I just had an epiphany about my childhood
I had a lot of emotional trouble in high school because my anxiety ended up getting rewarded by good grades. I worked from pretty much as soon as I got home from school in the afternoon to the moment I went to bed after falling asleep at the desk 3 times. And then sometimes again the next morning and throughout the rest of my classes. I had frequent anxiety attacks and emotional breakdowns because I would convince myself that not doing well on one assignment would be literally world-shattering and end up ruining my entire life.
But because of how much work and worry I put into everything, I ended up with an IB Diploma, and accepted into the well-regarded private film school of my choice.
The lengths I pushed myself to were really unhealthy back then. And while my breakdowns and irrational thought-trains would get addressed, the constant every-day anxieties were reinforced by the grades I was getting, and the praise that came with them. Which in the long run just led to more breakdowns.
The problematic thing now is that I still believe that college was where I was meant to be, and I’m not sure I could have gotten into it without the anxiety-fueled academic hell I went through in high school. And my anxiety keeps trying to use that to convince me that I need it, that it’s good for me, that everything good in my life it gave me, that I’m nothing without it. And as such, I shouldn’t try to overcome it or rid myself of it, because without it I will be all the things it taught me to be afraid of being.
Which in itself is recursive, because I was only really afraid of those things because of the anxiety anyways. Without it, I could cope with failing sometimes, or not being the very best like no one ever was, and be able to bounce back from that and move on and still be happy.
I guess basically what I’m saying is that anxiety disorders suck, and can sometimes be extremely irrational, self-sabotaging, and circular. And having them not be recognized and understood can actually give them more fuel accidentally.
I get a lot of questions from friends or family members of people with depression, who obviously, genuinely want to support their loved ones, but are maybe coming at it from an unproductive direction. I hope this will help a little!
I feel like this is something very important to keep in mind for anyone who is trying to help a loved one get through anxiety, depression, or any other mental illness.
I’ve met a lot of people who tried to just fix the problem, rather than actually supporting me, and helping me find the strength and courage to solve the problem myself. It ends up not being helpful at all, and since my actual anxiety was never addressed, those people will often get frustrated with me for not magically getting better from their ‘help’. Instead of improving the situation, their attempts to help instead make it worse, because then I feel guilty for not responding the way they wanted me to.
"you don’t need medicine it’s all poison"
"nature is better than therapy just look at a waterfall"
"real medicine is fruits and vegetables"
Please don’t ever shame medication. This kind of shame is a huge reason why so many people who need it are scared to take it. I can tell you from personal experience that natural remedies are frequently not enough. Mental illnesses are real legitimate medical conditions and medication can help and is sometimes necessary.
Anxiety is different for everyone.
- Don’t assume that just because you both have the same diagnoses that you are both going to have the same experience.
Seriously, who does this? My coworker heard me reference the Spoon Theory, and wanted an explanation. While walking her through the exercise, she made it through 5 spoons before getting to work, and decided “this is silly! You just need to stop at Starbucks first, and that’ll get you, like, 40 spoons right there!” Then, in a patronizing voice “And I will always let you borrow some of mine.”
I tried to explain that wasn’t how it worked, when another coworker (who is bipolar and was engaged to a woman with schizoaffective disorder!) pipes up with “Yeah, actually, you can totally use other people’s spoons! The exchange rate just isn’t very good. But it’s OK, because [coworker] can just make you a pot of coffee in the morning, and that will refresh all your spoons!”
This really really really isn’t how it works. Coffee does not really refresh that many spoons at all, if any (depends on the person and the situation, but a few cups of coffee does not refresh all your spoons). Only proper rest, relaxation, and soothing activities (according to what actually soothes you, be it alone time, the company of good friends, music, movies, meditation, whatever) can regenerate spoons in any kind of meaningful way. And for people with mental illnesses, disabilities, disorders, etc. spoons regenerate much slower than they do in neurotypical people.
And you can’t “borrow” someone’s spoons without being literally an energy vampire. Like, you’d have to actually have the superpower of sucking energy out of another human being in order to make that work. The closest you could get is for someone else to offer to do something for you so that you don’t have to, but that’s not “borrowing” spoons, that’s someone else spending spoons on your behalf.